considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
