She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
