You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
