dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
