Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize