He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
