I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
