you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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