I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
