Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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