On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
