Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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