He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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