You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
