Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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