I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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