fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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