whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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