You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
