You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
