Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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