Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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