I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
