just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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