it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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