thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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