This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
