i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
