o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So squirting runs in the family.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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