I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
