Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
