Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
