; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
