don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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