Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
