fuck your aforementioned shoe
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
two words: eviction party
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Oh god it's open bar.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
