there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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