Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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