Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
