If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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