Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
