he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
