Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
