Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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