why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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