She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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