I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
