We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
