it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
