he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
