someone threw a dead crab at me
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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