Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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